Self Care and Why I Think Tina Belcher is Amazing

Self Care and Why I Think Tina Belcher is Amazing

I have been thinking a lot about Tina Belcher, oldest sibling on the animated Fox television show, Bob’s Burgers.

I’ve been in a heavy slump lately, stressed out with school, looking for work, and holding on to my dreams and ambitions, all while trying to regulate my anxiety. It hasn’t been easy, especially because, as much as I love change, I also don’t know how to function when it happens. Cue…

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My Vulgar Peculiarities: How I Came to Love My Vibrator

My Vulgar Peculiarities: How I Came to Love My Vibrator

The first time I saw Madonna’s “Justify My Love” music video, I was only about 6 or 7 years old. It was playing on a late night music video show on MTV, and because I always had minimal supervision, I saw the whole music video without interruption, or fear of my parents finding out. I watched in awe and discomfort, instantly intrigued by the vivid images and movements between Madonna and the…

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I love access to birth control almost as much as I love using it (read: doin’ it). So when my access to contraception is impeded or threatened, I get as angry as the best of us. I applaud all attempts to end the attack on women’s right to make decisions about her own body and about her access to birth control. Well, almost all attempts.

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I feel like we (as in adults, men and women both) take for granted that we all just intuitively know how to pleasure ourselves. Most people I know, myself included, stumbled upon this great spot that felt good when I was young and just sorta figured it out. I started rubbing it, the rubbing felt good, I had my first orgasm, and I’ve been rubbing that same spot ever since with an ever increasing collection of accessories. But, what happens when you don’t stumble upon that spot and you don’t figure it out? It’s not really a part of our culture that our parents or a friend are supposed to sit us down and show us how to do it like riding a bike or balancing a check book.

I’ve been surprised over the last few years how many adult women I’ve met (I’ve yet to meet a man who hadn’t figured out how to jerk off. I’m sure he exists, though) who haven’t ever had an orgasm because they simply don’t understand how to make that happen. While I will continue to remind you that you will need to figure out your sexuality and what turns you on, I think I can at least get you started. First we need to discuss what you’re working with “down there.”

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From the article:

"You have vibrators, right?" I asked. They both tittered and teehee’d like embarrassed schoolgirls, exclaiming that, no, they did not. My girlfriend and I looked at each other, aghast. How had these young women reached adulthood without obtaining toys designed for their pleasure? I think I bought my first one when I was pretty young, around 16, but I had discovered the joys of back massagers long before that. They both claimed that they didn’t need anything like that, that they were capable of having orgasms through vaginal sex alone, to which I, in my head, called bullshit. While they may be among the small percentage of women who can, I doubt that both of them are able to, and then I got sad that perhaps they actually hadn’t ever had an orgasm. After hearing stories of the men they had dated, they didn’t seem to pick the most giving and charitable partners, so it wasn’t an assumption made with no back-up.

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Every Wednesday, a young, sex-positive couple answers all your most personal questions about sexual health, gettin’ it on, and relationships with gentle wit and a can-do attitude.

Do you have a sexy sex question for the Frisky Feminist? Need some advice? Want clarification on terms or technique? Use Persephone Magazine’s handy-dandy Ask Us! page and tell the Frisky Feminist all about it.

Every Wednesday, a young, sex-positive couple answers all your most personal questions about sexual health, gettin’ it on, and relationships with gentle wit and a can-do attitude.

Do you have a sexy sex question for the Frisky Feminist? Need some advice? Want clarification on terms or technique? Use Persephone Magazine’s handy-dandy Ask Us! page and tell the Frisky Feminist all about it.